So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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