We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
