"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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