I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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