I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
