You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
