Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
