Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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