Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
