I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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