what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
