there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
