Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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