I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We left an ass print on the piano.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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