I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Someone signed my nipple.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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