I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
