Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
