I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
