I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
