you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
