Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize