If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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