i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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