I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
