Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
