normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
