Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
