I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
