The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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