Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
God I need to hump something, right now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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