I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
