I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
