mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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