i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
