It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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