Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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