Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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