He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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