Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
