The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
