no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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