she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
