We won't sleep together?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
