His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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