You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Me. At least after what I've been through.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
