Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
