I want you more than these girls want KFC
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
