Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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