Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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