I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
