What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
