Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
