You're my little dorito
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
