doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There's always time for handjobs
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
