If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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