I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
