Where did you get a picture of my penis
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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