I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
