I want to walk on stilts...naked
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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