wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
