I didn't shave. On purpose
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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