Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just want nice things and good sex
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
