His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize