is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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