I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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