but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize