Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
