I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
