dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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