Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize