remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
