is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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