Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
