I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
