walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
