Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My bed smells like the plague
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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