Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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