and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
